Pain Pills Cause an Introspective Post.

Here's the thing: I'm socially awkward. People kinda freak me out. I like them and all, and they certainly entertain me, but when I have to talk to them, it's kind of intimidating. The worst though is the forced social interactions. Nothing makes for a more awkward conversation then being forced into a confined space with someone you don't know very well. Do you make small talk? Do you keep quiet?

Here's a little scenario for you. I started at my new employer back in March. I was sent to our headquarters in Maryland for training. Another woman started in the same position I was in on the same day (she's based at HQ though) so we did much of our training together. The first night, we were scheduled to go out to eat with one of the Development officers. While it's still awkward since I don't know either one of them really (they work in the same building, so they knew one another) I figured I'd go to my default of listening quietly and really only speaking when someone asks me a question. Then, the most awkward question of all. It went sort of like this:

J: "Do you want to ride with me or M to dinner?"
Me: "Uhhhh...."

This is the worst. What do I do? I don't know M any better than I know J. Do I publicly say that I don't want to ride with M? Do I take the offer that someone else made and ride with M, even though I'm not even sure she wants to be trapped in her vehicle with me? I was more confused than Rebecca Black. Which seat do I take?

I also have this problem with my phone. I hate talking to people on it. I use my phone to call my mother, my husband and the occassional doctor. I mostly use it for texts, BBMs and Facebook. To me, it's one more forced interaction and I can never end a phone call with a friend. It always seems awkward to me.

All of this has me thinking. Is there something wrong with me? Am I becoming a hermit in my old age? I don't like to go out. I much prefer staying home and surfing the interwebs while the hubby does something random on the other side of the room. Is there something wrong with me? Why don't I want to step out of my little sphere of domesticity?

Maybe it's the pain meds or maybe I just had one of those life changing epiphanies. Either way, I'm going to eat a Popsicle.